Friday, August 31, 2007


I'm taking a bit of a vacation and won't be back for awhile. Well, it's not exactly a vacation, but it will give me some peace and quite. Actually, that will depend on the other inmates, but I'm hoping it is quiet.

Seems someone found the RV in the Gulf… and the case of spent beer.

It's been a rough year for me.

At least I'll get free room and board. God must be looking out for my best interests, because I sure am tired of frog gigging. They don't taste like chicken. Sure, they're good a few times a year, but not everyday for five weeks. I sure hope they serve ribs. Man, I haven't had a decent meal since that whore left me. She was a good cook, but most temptresses are. I definitely need a change, because I've been eyeing stray cats.

The judge asked me if I was sorry when I entered my plea. Sorry for what? For living like Christ? Did Christ not make wine? Unfortunately, I had an atheistic activist judge and he threw the book at me. Four weeks. Then when I called him a communist he upped it to eight. It's sickening how Christians are now persecuted in this country.

But, I'll just think about the promised land knowing that Jesus is looking down approvingly and soon I'll be raptured. I wish it wouldn't take so long, but who am I to question His will?

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Federal Reserve = Communism

If you haven't bothered to turn on your T.V. or read a newspaper then maybe you are unaware of the financial crises in mortgage backed securities. Maybe you are also unaware that the Fed's only response to this crisis was to cut the discount rate by a half point. In short, maybe you are too stupid to remember to breath.

I assume if you've made it this far in the article that you know a little bit about current events given you haven't yet passed out and died the blue death. Kudos to you.

What you probably don't know is that the discount rate doesn't affect consumer interest rates. That would be the federal funds rate that you are thinking of. Idiot. What you also probably don't know is that the federal funds rate cannot be "set" by anyone, but rather the Fed screws around buying and selling securities to raise or lower the reserve balances of various financial institutions thus indirectly moving the market rate where they want it. Jesus Christ, just read this thing moron:

Getting to the point: The federal funds rate does not automatically affect consumer interest rates. "But, but, you just said…" Shut up! I said that was the rate you were thinking of. The reason you thought the federal funds rate affects consumer rates is because that's what the main stream media reports. They are idiot liberals that know nothing about markets.

The fact is that the federal funds rate can indirectly move consumer rates since it does raise or lower borrowing costs for banks. If it goes higher, the cost is passed on to consumers. If it goes lower, the savings is either passed to the consumer or pocketed by the bank.

Actually, forget I said any of that, because there are way more moving parts involved here and you obviously can't even grasp the most basic principals of all this. Thanks for wasting my time jackass.

I'm just going to dictate to you what needs to be done:

Markets work by allowing the strong to thrive and the weak to die. We have a problem right now. The banks cannot sell any mortgage backed securities, because America is a welfare state full of deadbeats that don't pay their mortgages. Since banks can't sell mortgages, they can't raise cash to pay depositors and, worse, issue new mortgages. In short, some banks are going to fail.

In order to support free and unfettered markets, the Fed needs to just outright buy all mortgage backed securities for par value from the banks and investment companies. This is to ensure that the strong don't die.

In addition, the Fed needs to mandate that banks issue mortgages at a negative rate in order to insure that I survive. I am strong and free markets reward the strong. That Nigerian bastard ran off with my daughter's money! I need to refinance my interest only loan you sons of bitches!! Give me my money!!!

Holy Christ Almighty! Am I the only one who believes in free markets?! Why isn't the Fed intervening to save us?! I'm going to lose everything!!! Discount rate! WTF?! That only keeps banks liquid in an emergency and is not sustainable! We need to free the market now and get back to infinite refinancing!!! NOW!!!! We're not asking for a bailout! We are DEMANDING that the government buy all our AAA rated CDO's and start paying us to borrow money from them!!! THAT'S NOT A BAILOUT!!! THAT'S PURCHASING AND LOANING TO A FREE MARKET!!!!


Saturday, August 18, 2007

Financial Freedom!

Many of you already know that the financing of my second home fell through at the last minute and that I'm past due on three mortgage payments for my first home. I thank you for your emails of condolences, but you fail to see the power of the free market.

I'll admit that even I felt like I had been let down by my own ideology for a brief moment. But, is wasn't even a week after the bank notified me that they couldn't finance my interest only loan and second mortgage to pay for my first home's second mortgage that I got a business opportunity that not only promises to end my current financial tangle, but help out an African whose country turned against his free market policies.

I won't go into exact details, but my daughter will thank me for investing her college funds into this exciting and lucrative endeavor. I've already started celebrating by purchasing an RV that I'll tour the great state of Texas with. Guess I got that second home after all despite the liberal banks!

Thursday, August 02, 2007

End congestion on our roads!

I live in a fairly good sized city and have to deal with traffic jams on a daily basis. That's when I started looking for the root cause of traffic congestion. After studying the situation for a few months it became apparent that, once again, government regulation is to blame.

Local governments across the country have, over time, installed a myriad of traffic controls such as traffic signals, stop signs, yield signs, one way signs and the occasional police officer directing traffic. These traffic controls are akin to price controls. They don't work. Price controls lead to shortages, traffic controls lead to congestion.

Instead of having a nanny state that tries to "protect" you, we would be better served with a market approach to navigating our roads. Allowing individuals to take personal responsibility over traffic decisions will lead to efficiency as people will naturally choose the fastest and safest method to arrive at their destination.

For instance, how many times have you been stuck at a red light while there is no cross traffic? Why are we leaving the decision to cross the intersection to some colored lights? Let's let the individual decide.

Or how many times have you been on the highway when the "northbound" lanes are jammed up and the "southbound" lanes are wide open? Wouldn't it make more sense for the individual to decide which lane should go in what direction rather than some arbitrary rule posted on a sign?

A market based approach would also lead to underperformers being taken out of the marketplace. This will lead to fewer vehicles on the road and will further ease traffic congestion.

It seems ridiculous that we ever implemented traffic controls when you put serious thought into it. But when you are raised with something, no matter how nonsensical, it often takes a long time to realize that there is a better way.

So, it's time to start petitioning your mayors to start removing all traffic controls. They are worse than useless; they are taking up our valuable time!