Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Common Courtesy

Last week I updated my site meter to send a UDP packet to my computer whenever a page load occurs. I also hooked up an electro-mechanical bell to my computer through the USB port. I wrote a simple piece of software to ring the bell whenever my computer receives the UDP packet from a page load. It's a pretty nice setup if I do say so myself. Every time the bell rings I feel a sense of accomplishment that my message of compassionate conservatism is getting through.

However, some people visiting this site lack a sense of courtesy. Would you like someone to come ring your door bell at 3AM when you are fast asleep? No? Well, I don't appreciate it when people ring my site bell at that hour. Please, show some respect and only visit the site during reasonable hours. Also, please don't click all over the place while you are visiting the site. That can get pretty annoying too.

Anyway, enjoy the site, but please treat it as if you were coming to my house for a cup of coffee and a chat.

Update July 15, 2007 @ 2:09am in the God damned morning:

Alright, I put this post up on July 11th. I made it very clear that people should be courteous about the hours they visit this site. Everyday, every damn day, I have been woken up at some unGodly hour by some imbecile clicking away at this site. What is wrong with you people? I haven't had a decent night's sleep for almost two weeks! If this doesn't stop I am going to disable this site at night. I mean it. So, when one of you is looking for some emergency consultation in the middle of the night you can thank the rude night clickers that I'm not here to help. You people are going to ruin it for everyone!


At 7/12/2007 3:00 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

I agree Kirk. Nothing makes me more angry than some idiot waking me up at an unGodly hour just to make a comment that I will forget in the morning. The UDP is much better than TCP at keeping loads in the correct order and never drops a load... uh, you know what I mean.

BTW I checked out your MySpace page and most of the links on your blog roll. Very impressive. According to your counter you get thousands of hits per day. That shows what a fantastic job you are doing in getting the word out that liberals are no better than the droppings my dog Duke leaves in my neighbors yard every morning.

At 7/12/2007 10:28 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Melissa: You remind me of my wife.

At 7/12/2007 11:10 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Are you asking me for a divorce?

At 7/13/2007 6:39 PM, Blogger Kirk said...


At 7/13/2007 9:01 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

I knew you cared. Now get your feet off the coffee table, shove a bun and make room for Melissa.

And give me that damn remote!

At 7/14/2007 11:44 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Joelissa: At least I care about something you freakin nihilist!

At 7/15/2007 1:46 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

At least you care about something - like emo haired chimeras. You did the exact same thing to it, but unspoken rules aren't meant for you to follow. At least I care about people. You don't.
"...Islamosuicider. I won't miss him."
You can't act any better than Tom Cruise. You pretend to be a neo-con, but the snark and cruelty of your comments are genuine.

You make rules that apply to everyone but yourself, "It's not cool to out another blogger." Then "accidently" out another blogger twice.

I guess my stay at your Ohio Blogger's local Ritz Carlton is cancelled. Shucks!

You can't be nice, can you? The lock on that chastity belt around your heart is rusted shut.

So long, Kirk. Only so long.


At 7/15/2007 3:05 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Melissa: If only you used that uncontrollable anger of yours for righteousness you would be rewarded in Heaven with seven nuns, maybe some of them would be virgins too. But, God would never trust you with those nuns, so you are out of luck on that one. You can take your crying game somewhere else; you'll receive no sympathy here. Besides, you scare me... and that's saying something.

At 7/15/2007 3:43 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

I only wanted your sympathy. I only wanted a friend. Not a reward. I know you hate me now. I used the anger for righteousness before you turned against me. You know that.

I knew I'd end up alone in the dark. The alone has already arrived, I have to live with that and the pain you caused in showing me this fact. Those quotes are from you. I NEVER had a chance at glory.

Don't be afraid of me, I can't hurt anyone.

You could have had one of those nuns too. You make me laugh and cry at the same time.

OK friend. I'll go back to the empty convent.

At 7/15/2007 3:56 PM, Blogger Rudy said...

I'm with Melissa. You save the world Kirk. I can't anymore. God is punishing me (homosexual activities). I have to go burn and endure eternal suffering now.

Give 'em Hell, Kirk.

At 7/15/2007 6:22 PM, Blogger Rudy said...

Just one more thing: You were my last friend, Kirk. And the prettiest. I won't chance another. God, Hell really hurts. It'll hurt forever. That's not a game.

At 7/15/2007 8:54 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Melissa, Joe, Rudy, Tim, Snowball: I gave you a chance to join forces with me and we could have ruled the internets from here to Indochina! Instead, you spat in my face, God's face, and now you are wallowing in your own deviant putrefaction. Don't preach to me about glory for I know it well! God has blessed me and all who follow me. You are nothing without me! Do not question my actions! Never question me, for I act upon His orders!

At 7/16/2007 11:10 AM, Blogger Rudy said...

You saved me from the crooks and the liars. I was only a commenter when given the chance to join with you. I had to toughen up. I can beat off any liberal now.

I've established a readership and joined a team blog where I am undercover posting as an Atheist. I've learned what makes them so closed minded and unwilling to accept the facts. It's scientific liars who profit from Global Warming theories and chopping up baby genes that are brainwashing our citizens.

You, me and you could be the trinity of the blogosphere. I am nothing without you. We could be bigger than that centrist Rupert Murdoch. Kirk, the thermostat is going to click and the temperature will rise and burn my Blogger soul. Catch the rope and pull me out of here.

At 7/16/2007 7:41 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Rudy: You've learned nothing! Catching that rope is akin to socialism! I must let market forces work.

At 7/16/2007 9:33 PM, Blogger Rudy said...

Oh no Kirk, you've torn my clenched cheeks from the pew. My general practitioner says you have caused me a swollen prostate. My cardiologist says you have done significant damage to my heart:
Genesis 6:6 The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain.

Even my orthodontist is worried:
Matthew 13:42 They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

I'm sorry I scared you. I'll stay away now.

My heart, Kirk. My heart. Hell is worse than I imagined. I'm the only one here.

At 7/16/2007 10:23 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Rudy: Perhaps you should pass the time playing solitaire.

At 7/16/2007 11:00 PM, Blogger Rudy said...

Wait. It's not socialism. It's something called mergers and acquisitions, a very big corporate, American and patriotic idea. One you thought of long ago.

I do play solitaire and I always win, but you don't gain nearly as much as when you invest with others. This is true in religion as well. Jesus watches.

See my wealth on God vs. Darwin. The blog administrator is a man from Australia. I'm an ambitious, world wide capitolist who has built his Blogger empire from scratch. I'm a worthy partner, a complete and total asset.

At 7/18/2007 12:08 AM, Blogger Rudy said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 7/18/2007 7:58 AM, Blogger Kirk said...

Rudy: Yes.

At 7/18/2007 5:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

rudy, if you are condemned to blogger hell, it is probably for being long-winded and boring.

At 7/18/2007 7:10 PM, Blogger Rudy said...

Kirk: OK.

anonymous: You're a coward, a liar and an asshole!


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