Saturday, April 14, 2007

Tort Reform

An unbelievable thing happened to me on Friday. I've been suspended from my job for giving an employee a promotion! You read that correct. I give an employee a promotion and I get suspended. Not only that, but the company gets sued! I guess this is the "New World Order" Bill Clinton was talking about.

"How can this be?" you ask. Well, did I mention that the employee was female?

Indeed, if you don't move these people up the corporate ladder, it's sex discrimination. If you push them up the ladder, it's sexual assault. There is no winning with the feminist movement.

The young lady in question had been doing a fine job and I thought she was ready to take on more responsibility. I filled out all the necessary paper work, got all the approvals, and called her to my office. She seemed very happy when she got the news that she was moving up. We shook hands and as she left I gave her a congratulatory rump pat.

How exactly a suspension comes in, I don't know. I just know that it was this employee that filed the complaint. I don't yet have the details other than I'm not to report to work and that I will at some point have to talk with a company lawyer in order to prepare for the lawsuit.

I don't know how this nation is supposed to compete with other countries when people are constantly hauled into court over the most benign things. If there has ever been more proof that we need to redesign our current justice system, I don't know what that proof is.


At 4/14/2007 2:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should tell Fred X about this unfair treatment. He's a real good American who hates feminists. Here's the link:

At 4/14/2007 3:57 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Anonymous: While Fred's message is very Christian, it gets lost with his use of profanity. When Jesus comes back to Earth, I would expect Him to shove His fist up Fred's ass, and rip his heart out, for mangling such a beautiful message of hope.

At 4/19/2007 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like another frivolous lawsuit by a feminist. There's a big difference between a rump pat and a grope. Football players often give each other rump pats, but never sue over it. If football players like it so should women. However, for obvious reasons the NFL should ban rump patting for the San Francisco 49er's. They grope.

At 4/20/2007 10:58 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Anonymous: Well said!

At 4/23/2007 3:05 PM, Anonymous anonymous #3 said...

You must pursue this woman. Constant calls and visits will change her mind. You can keep track of her every move by entering her cell phone number at this site -

At 4/26/2007 7:36 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Anonymous #3: I clicked and clicked your link, but it didn't work. You will need to reimburse me for the two hours I tried to get your link to work. There are consequences for your actions. Also, learn how to use the internets moran!

At 4/28/2007 12:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous #4 said...

I fixed the link for Anonymous #3. Click here, then put her number in the space provided.

I have charged Anonymous #3 for my valuable time and I will collect what he owes you. I'll need your address so I can send you the $2.00. You'll have to reimburse me for the cost of an envelope and postage. I am at the Twin Towers Apartment complex in downtown Los Angeles.

At 4/30/2007 4:19 PM, Anonymous bonzo said...

I am an eliminater of trolls. I find them and destroy them. Karl Rove emailed me about your infestation, but somehow it was lost. Michael Brown was given the task of delivering the message a year ago. He arrived yesterday.

Timmy, Joe, Anonymous 3, 4, and a dozen other liberals have already named me their sole beneficiariy. After another week of waterboarding I will destroy them.

Michael Brown will deliver your 60% of the cut. Blog on without interruption, righteous brother.

At 5/01/2007 2:13 PM, Anonymous Freedom Fan said...

Anonymous #4 said...

I fixed the link for Anonymous #3. Click here, then put her number in the space provided.

Sorry son, the link is BOGUS, I put my cell # in and it was way off wrong state to begin.

But it is nice to think a gutless psuedo-christian would be foisting hate like you cretins do here Jebus would be proud of you all.

At 5/04/2007 4:29 AM, Blogger A NEWT ONE said...

Hey there. We happen to be one of the sites you have linked to in the past. We are grateful for that.

We need you to change our address from to

The new site will be online within days and you will be able to subscribe to the site feeds if you like. The new site is much better!



At 5/04/2007 9:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous #4 said...

freedom fag,
Nope. That was you alright. You must be Kirk's wife, otherwise you would not have put your own cell number in. And by the looks of it, you couldn't possibly give birth. You're going about it all wrong. I am not your adopted son.

I'm holding Karena hostage. Her husband has a sore ass. Colon cancer.

She will explain.

At 5/04/2007 11:08 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Anonymous #4: Your link keeps saying something about "Flash" being required. I spent close to 5 hours trying to use this "Flash" thing to no avail. Why do you incompetents waste so much of my time?

Bonzo: I unsure of what you are talking about but, since it has waterboarding and a 60% cut for me, it must be something patriot. You are always welcome at this site friend.

Freedom Fan: Please control your emotions. This is a site for civil discussion.

A Newt One: Mr. Gingrich? Why haven't you announced yet? We haven't had a man of your high morals ever since Tom Delay left office for no apparent reason. We need you Mr. Gingrich! You are the next Reagan!

Anonymous #4: The only useful thing you've posted at my blog is the derogatory comment about my whore of a wife.


At 5/05/2007 5:17 PM, Anonymous 4 said...


At 5/06/2007 1:20 AM, Blogger KF San Soo said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 5/11/2007 10:36 PM, Anonymous Mel said...


Regarding your original post: women don't belong in the workplace. Send mamma back to the kitchen where she belongs.

All these years you thought she was a True Conservative, but it turns out that Ann Coulter is really a parody troll. Another reason to loathe women even more.

At 5/12/2007 3:38 PM, Anonymous bonzo said...

Anonymous #4 has been recaptured. He has been made to understand the importance of who you are and what you stand for. He will not be allowed near a computer and will be interrogated not tortured. Your 75% will be direct deposited on or about the 1st. You may now blog troll free.

At 5/13/2007 7:33 PM, Blogger ultrarider said...

In this day and age you CAN'T pat rumps, period. Male or female you can't do it!!!!!!!! Or else you are leaving the door open for trouble!

At 5/15/2007 4:55 PM, Blogger Jimbo said...

That woman just wants more of the same. Perhaps a tap on the other cheek will calm her down. Give it a try.

You are the greatest Conservative Christian Blogger ever. All the other Bloggers I know of fall short of your glory.

I must move on now. I hope you will continue spreading His word.

At 5/19/2007 3:02 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Mel: We both know that the United States fell into moral decline once women got the vote. It's not so much that these creatures are irrational as it is that they are wicked. But, anytime one of us tries to deal with the problem, we are branded as "abusers." That speaks volumes about the state of our country.

Bonzo: I am 100% for enhanced interrorgation. Rapidly and forcefully inserting foreign objects into various bodily cavities is not only efficient; it is also more humane than the slow and methodical insertion that liberals like Barney Frank practice.

UltraRider: This post is about an ungrateful employee that got angry over a raise. Please stay on subject.

Jimbo: I'm not sure if that calmed her down or if she was more pleased when I fired her.

I am definitely a righteous person. Anyone can see that.

At 5/22/2007 2:18 AM, Blogger Jimbo said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 6/23/2007 11:28 PM, Blogger Kirk said...


At 6/24/2007 11:42 PM, Blogger T L M said...


At 6/25/2007 8:03 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

True Liberal Moran: I'm surprised you could spell that correctly.

At 6/26/2007 12:31 AM, Blogger T L M said...

Anyone could have figured out my first and middle name, but only another Moran would have figured out my last name.

Are you the bastard son that my father was so ashamed of? Are you my much older brother?

At 6/26/2007 7:02 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

The Little surrender Monkey: Throw your bile encrusted feces elsewhere. My readers expect real dialogue. Not personal attacks.

At 6/27/2007 2:40 AM, Blogger T L M said...

Kirk Moran,
I compare you to the bastard son of Joseph and Mary and you spew corn kernel decored comments at me? You truly are an evil bastard, unlike our holy Jesus. No wonder father was so ashamed. You are the enemy of the conservative man. Are you not? How can one follow you? You cause more pain to my soul than Satan himself.

At 6/28/2007 1:50 PM, Blogger T L M said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 6/29/2007 4:43 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

anTi-american Liberal Muslim:

Go back to Thailand if you hate it here so much!

At 6/29/2007 5:19 PM, Blogger T L M said...

Magnificently Radiant Vixen,
It's really you!
I'm being deported today. It's my free ride home.
My Birthday present to you.

At 6/29/2007 6:00 PM, Blogger T L M said...

Just one more thing. You put Glenn Beck to shame. You're jokes are so much better than his.



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